"It's hot, please stop"
"But I want to show the world that I love you! Can't I?"
That simple stament made me shiver. It was too simple, but held too much stuff I didn't want to consider yet.
Maybe not ever.
I hate summer. That doesn't help at all.
"Are you for real?"
"Of course I am!"
And of course, they were. Damn it.
Somewhere in my mind, I hoped it wasn't. Too much for a full week of sunny days.
It was the longest of summers I've ever endured alive.
I knew, deep inside myself, that I shouldn't have started it. But I'm an idiot sometimes.
--
Autumn came, and so did you.
I have nothing left for you; only a bit of nostalgia.
I missed the most beautiful colours outside, painted between the leaves and the trees.
I miss something I've never seen.
Autumn is such a beautiful season... but not enough for me.
//
The weather has gotten windy and soft. I can feel the skies turning more orange as well as the leaves from the trees; a season of change, renewal, and unique wonder.
A season of longing, poetry and long talks. A season when love made itself be known and didn't leave my words for a long time, even if I still don't get it.
You showed me what love may feel like. You loved me like it was easy, simple and fun. Like it was just a game and just needed one to relax and enjoy the procedures.
It was fun actually. So fun, I relaxed and quietly loved you back, even if noone noticed at first. Awhile later when I couldn't stop the dams anymore I admitted to myself that, yeah, maybe I felt more than a shy, quiet love for you. Maybe I didn't get it all properly, but it was solid and unforgettable. You gifted me something I couldn't take back. My heart resisted to let you go.
Autumn is special in many ways. For me, it means to love with all of your heart, to expose yourself to the world, to be one with your feelings. It's a seasonal opportunity to get loose and escape the barriers you've made up because of fear of god knows what, because love is not something to be afraid of, to be worried about. Love is freeing in so many ways.
Loving you still feels like this, like it gives me a breath of fresh air whenever I'm down. Like I can conquer a whole planet with the sole power your smile grants me when directed at my own.
You taught me so many things with your loving gaze, your firm words, your soft embrace.
I love you, I love you, I love you!
--
In the middle of winter, you came to my life so unexpectedly, so beautifully.
Your smile got my eye, and it was enough.
At that very moment, everything felt enough if I knew I had that smile by my side whenever I wanted.
After all, I always get what I want.
So yeah... I started to plan.
I wanted you close,
I wanted to see you blush,
I wanted to caress your frame
as if mine, for just a few minutes. So delirious, I felt.
And my plans worked out (not very well, might I add), and I got so much more than just all the little details mentioned above.
That winter may have been one of the coldest,
but your heat made it, by far, the most memorable one in my young years.
--
Spring fills me up with yearning.with longing.
It's the season of my birthday.
I've got a soft spot for birthdays since that unique spring full of smiles.
It felt too real, too much. I'm afraid I will never forget it.
And I don't mind at all.
It was the very first time I felt fluttery, full of rainbows and cascades of feelings.
Damn them all, anytime, but THAT day.
I felt good, special, dumb and childlish.
I've never let myself felt that way before.. and all at once.
All at once!
I felt so much, so so much, that I took some of those embarassing emotions,
bottled them up for me to store them neatly, into my own garden.
Whenever I feel too tired, or too small, too mean,
I open a bottle's lid to drink it up; filling me up with so many butterflies,
Making me feel giddy and nice again, for a little while.
I got, like, a dozen of them.
Each bottle has a different colour.. like my flowers. Like the spring.
My favourite are the yellow ones.