My loved ones always ask me what would I want for my birthday when it's coming up. They ask about interests, brands and whatnot, and I always reply the same "gift me whatever you want, because i'll treasure it anyways".
No one has surprised me enough with a birthday gift as you did that wholesome friday. It gives me the chills just to let my memory jog back to such an emotional scene. Such a memorable, loud and sweet moment made of the most unexpected of flavours: tobacco.
That late afternoon you startled me with your blasting energy at first, because for some reason my birthday was something very important to celebrate in the most vibrant of ways: a cute colorful letter full of doodles, my favourite music on speaker at full volume, and a vivid and cheerful laugh making it's way tru the thin walls of my heart were some examples.
Then, the secrecy. You told me your gift would win everyone else's, that it was magical and too special and that nobody had the right to spoil such surprise from me or they'll be dragged to hell and back by your glare only. You acted as ridiculous as ever, but in your eyes there was this seriousness that told me 'hey, let's keep entertaining them but not make them feel ridiculous.'
And then.. the gift itself.
When everyone were mostly gone, you asked me to go with you to buy some cigs. We took the long way to the store, enjoying the silly topics of conversation and the funny faces we made of the people we loved out of memory.
When we got there, you asked me why I always scolded you when you smoked too many cigs. "Why do you care so much about me?", "Am I not an adult enough for you?"
And I said "It's because I love you, stupid" seeing you right into your hazel eyes, suddenly a bit unfocused and shocked, all while attempting to light up a cig, a mocking of our chit chat in itself.
You stared for a while with a smile, took me softly by the neck, and kissed me on the lips.
It was warm warm warm, my mind couldn't make a correct thought and my heart a correct heartbeat. My whole body was suffering a short circuit because there, in the middle of the night, you choose to simple be a dear and gift me a little bit of your love in between little puffs of smoke and quiet giggles. Your eyes saw me with that glint that spoke a millon things, and even if I wanted to I couldn't look away.
Our minute long kiss said much more than just "I love you"; it said "I care", "Let me hold you", "Please don't mind my awful longing so much", "Let me be gentle". When we separated and started to return we decided to speak in a language made of shy glances and holding hands, because neither of us wanted to word the reason of our flushed cheeks. Not even to ourselves.
I wanted to say so many things that night, but life sometimes isn't fair with love. I knew our bonding was going to be short and explosive, but still... I would have loved for you to stay a bit longer.
I wanted to voice specially that, out of every gift I ever had on my birthdays, yours was, and still is, the most special. You were so right when you told me it was going to be magical. I can't keep myself from smiling like an idiot, recalling every little touch of yours on my burning skin.
..Hopefully whenever you have a smoke nowadays, you remember for a moment the sensation of my lips pressed into yours.