I know you feel sick, and tired, and messy.
I understand. You want to breathe but don't know how.
You forgot, in all of the in betweens it seems.
You are so cute this way, really.
Even if sick, you still smile as if we're having a good time.
Like protecting our moment till the last minute
Till the end of the night.
You've always been the protector
You know I know, because you know me better than me.
You are definetly a mind, soul and heart reader.
I'm an open book to you, yet I don't feel bad about it.
I love it, actually. It conforts me, even.
I like how much you figured out by just being diligent,
An observer, a very good one.
I find that very endearing for some reason.
I like being yours in your eyes,
and I like you being mine in your mind.
I conquer every space of it, I'm sure. I'm sorry.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't this mean to you.
It's the addiction.
I'm too far away from being sober again,
I'd get drunk into you anytime if you let me.
You're my favourite wine.
Holding you like this gives me another reason to play with you:
you're a talkative mess, you are saying too many things.
I'd of course tease you about this till next spring.
I can resist my laugher for longer; I want to still hear your nonsense.
Then.
It's not nonsense anymore.
I feel a sting in my chest, and suddenly I can't stare at you.
Feelings spoil these playings.
Now that I hear them aloud, I forgot how to walk.
You have no idea what you've just announced.
I have no idea how I should respond to my own fluttering heart.
I feel the same way, but-
But I can't let you reel up on me like this.
I'm planning on stopping myself from any more teasings, since today,
To forever.
I won't admit the truth. I can't even say it aloud being alone.
I force myself to smile the rest of the evening.
Inside, I'm falling apart.
When I'm finally alone, I let myself cry.
Reality slapped me in the face, and I can't even complain.
I feel crushed, yet happy, yet conflicted.
I have no idea of what to make about this,
About us from now on.
The stars and moon herself frown at me. It's all a mess.
And it's the loveliest I ever experienced.
And I want it to happen again.
I want it to shatter me to pieces.
I want it to consume my quivering heart.
I could not sleep that night.
I swear I saw you in my dreams, smiling that adoring smile,
Saying those damned words again,
And I smiled back, content, and returned them sweetly.