Frenzy

I've seen you move your head against mine.
You whispered "how come you are not coming?"
"Am I that insufferable?"
I say "No. I just didn't feel like it".
You hummed, and tried to hold my gaze. I refused to be stared at.
By you, nonetheless.
You laughed, and rasped a tiny "Damn."

We both shivered, held hands and said a simple stament:
I got it so hard for you.

We didn't even need to say the words aloud.
Our hands danced a secret language between us, letting each other know.
You ramble, your hands soft and warm:
I'm never letting you go.
This is so surreal to me.
You matter to me.
I want you to hold me closer.

I want you to love me.

This was getting dangerous.

The music fell as the rain.
I got up, unable to resist you, to resist your shape.
I hate to be controlled.
I hate to be wanting something so bad it hurts.
I hate you for feeling the very same.
Except, really, I don't.
I'm a conflicted mess.

I hate how you make me squirm under your gaze.
It's a secret power only you have, and the worst is

I choose for you to have it.

"I'm going to get my head cleared."
Please stop doing this to me.
"Will come in a few minutes"
I can't stand your fire anymore.
It's burning me from the inside out.
It consumes me. 
I don't want you to win.
"Ok"
I wish you could loosen up.
I want you to stare.
I don't want you to go.
I need to feel this is real.
I need to know.
Do you feel this between us?
Or am I making stuff up?

I want you to love me like I love you.

Your gaze repeats. Your hands confirm.
And I am now staring, biting my lip, cursing at myself.
You fucking won. Only for this time, I promise to myself.
I know it's not true.

I'm never letting you go.