I try to get off to somewhere without people. Without certain people.
I can't stand the sun today, it seems.
They keep pushing me to the edge with this topic.
It's not their problem to solve, so what's the deal?
My mind is already racing with some implications.
I want to hold on a bit, but it's getting so difficult lately.
I crave for so much more.
I couldn't care less about my indefined thoughts yet.
You see me, and my train of thougth stops.
I can't breathe today, that's an understanding.
My body feels ready to flee out of the windows if they weren't that inexistent.
Oh, such a shame.
I duck away, I try to stand.
You anchor me.
I hate you a little.
The babbling continues, I try to regain some control,
I know I lost already.
I'm such a mess, from the inside out.
Then, at that moment, I feel a hand holding mine.
I don't look down to them, to our hands. I refuse to do so. I turn to look at you instead:
You smile, and my frustration dies instantly.
I'd do anything to see it directed at myself anytime of the day.
It makes me so stupid; it makes me feel so foolish.
It's so dazzling I could smile back for hours.
I sigh.
I can hear the stupid ads from somewhere:
"get your shit together! don't fall in love, it's a trap!"
Maybe it's from my head, from my heart, who knows.
I lied. How could I hate you?
I could never hate you.
You are really something else.
The sun feels hot, radiant, and hopeful.
I lean on it's rays. I squeeze back your hand.
The calmness doesn't come, but somehow, I'm at peace.